In the Albatross sketch, what does John Cleese's cinema vendor sell?

In the “Albatross” sketch, John Cleese’s cinema vendor sells an albatross—a dead seabird displayed on a hawker’s tray instead of ordinary cinema snacks.

The sketch first appeared in the episode “Intermission,” broadcast on 11 January 1970. Cleese plays a vendor dressed like an ice-cream seller, repeatedly shouting “Albatross!” while Terry Jones’s customer tries to buy familiar treats such as choc ices and asks practical questions about the bizarre product.

The comedy comes from treating the absurd bird as a routine concession item. The customer asks what flavour it is and whether it comes with wafers, while the vendor becomes increasingly exasperated. The exchange ends with the customer buying two albatrosses, after which the vendor announces another strange product: “gannet on a stick.”

A common mix-up is “choc ice,” because that is what the customer initially requests. Choc ice is not the vendor’s merchandise; it is the conventional cinema snack contrasted with the sketch’s impossible product. The sketch lasted roughly 40 seconds on television but became one of Python’s most frequently performed live pieces.